kanyewesticle: my kind of diet is eating everything i can then hoping to lose weight over night
alltimeboners: things that are enjoyable: showers things that are not enjoyable: getting in the shower getting out of the shower
jadehariey: so yahoo reports that michelle obama wore the same dress three times. congratulations, you have now confirmed that the white house indeed has washing machines
lameborghini: for being a teen girl i sure do talk about my dick a lot
Howard Stark was a worse father than Odin. Pass it...
messenger-of-the-auspice: ecokitty: ras-al-cool: I see your Odin and Howard Stark… And raise you one Brian Banner. ^^^ Oh snap, that’s hard to beat. John Winchester, anyone?
ifyoucarryonthisway: i need a job where i work one hour a week and i get paid a thousand dollars a minute
amazzingphil: [IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO LOVE A BAND’S MOST POPULAR SONG THERE IS A REASON IT IS THEIR MOST POPULAR SONG]
canadumb: thinsiqnificant: canadumb: *ducts tapes my laptop together* *duct tapes my life together* isnt that what i said
ofuckme: theres nothing funnier than a girl wearing heels to a concert
danimansutti: really nothing nicer than someone saying “saw this and thought of you”
shannananan: mercimonamie: i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once. oh my god you managed to one up john green.
robert-downey-jesus: I SERVED A KID DRESSED AS IRON MAN TODAY AND I ASKED HIM WHAT HIS NAME WAS AND HE SAID IT WAS TONY AND HIS MUM SHOOK HER HEAD AND WAS LIKE NO HIS NAME IS JESSE AND I LOOKED BACK AT THE KID TO GIVE HIM HIS CHANGE AND SAID ‘HAVE A NICE DAY MR STARK’ AND HE GOT SO EXCITED AND RAN OFF WITH HIS SISTER IT WAS GREAT